I am Buttercup
by Buttercupbadass
Summary: Buttercup's life has not been an easy one but with the lessons his mother taught him, he is a survivor. Buttercup tells his life story with darkness and light, great joy and sorrow.


_Suzanne Collins is the sole owner of the characters. I've only taken them out to play for a bit. I'll put them back, I promise._

 **I am Buttercup.**

I'm a cat, I'm a tomcat to be precise and this is my story.

I was born under a board against a wall of a steel building. I don't remember much about that time but I remember cold. Cold and wet are two feelings cats do not like. I had a mother. I remember her fur was three colors. I remember her milk, her belly always being warm and her purr. I remember her purr. There were others like me there too. But one by one they went away until it was just Mom and me. I'm the survivor, Mom says.

Mom taught me all the lessons a tomcat needs to know. She taught me to hunt, how to find water, how to hide and how to defend myself. She taught me other things too, like about people. Mom said some cats like to live with people. She said some people are good and others are bad. She said to hide from the bad people. She said as a tomcat, I'd need to learn how to be alone. I need to be brave and go off on my own. Tomcats don't stay with their mothers. It made me sad to think I'd leave her, so I vowed to always keep her in my sights. But I'm a cat and cats are curious. One day while chasing a mouse I turned around and she was gone. I went to our board and waited under its shade but she never returned. I was alone.

My curiosity would get me into trouble once again. While lounging in the sun one afternoon after a good meal of a field mouse, I saw a creature flying through the sky. I followed it and tried to catch it. I chased that thing all over the meadow. I was having a great old time. I didn't want to eat the creature, I was full, but the creature didn't know. It landed on my head and stung me near my eye. Oh, how I yowled. Pain is also a feeling cats do not like. Over the next few sunsets the eye got bigger and bigger and I found I was falling down a lot. I was having trouble finding food. One night while sniffing around a pile of garbage I came face to face with a creature mom called a masked menace. Mom told me never to take on an opponent that is bigger than me but I was hungry and he had a delicious piece of garbage that would make a good meal. I still think I could have taken him if I weren't down one eye and weak with hunger but I'll never know. The menace bit a chunk out of my ear. Then, I fell into a barrel of water when I tried to run away. Now I was cold, wet, and in pain, all the worst things for a cat. I made my way to my board and laid down ready to never see the sunshine again. But the sun did come up and with it came voices. The small one with hair the color of sunshine itself bends down to stroke my fur. She speaks sweet words and warms my cold wet body with her hands. She argues with the bigger dark haired one. The light one picks me up, a new sensation for me and I growl in displeasure but have no energy to flee. I can only hope that this 'girl' will be one of the good people my mother told me about. She holds me to her chest to warm me and takes me to her house. The darker one growls the whole way. The girl, My Girl I think now, cares for me and I begin to feel better. I still don't like the Dark Haired Girl but My Girl does so I just keep my distance. The dark one confuses me. She shoos me away but feeds me the best part of their food, the gooey innards. I start to feel better and while I still wander, I return to the house, I return to My Girl. I guess I'm one of those cats my mother told me about. I'm happy, warm and dry. Having a person isn't so bad.

Some days I watch My Girl. She does the same thing a lot. Some days she goes off and I sleep. Every day she goes to the big hairy creature in the pen outside. The creature and I get along ok. She's a goat she tells me. Everyday My Girl goes to the goat and takes her milk. She brings it inside; I guess My Girl's mother doesn't make milk like my mother did. The girls use that milk and the goat knows it. The goat is smug. She thinks she's more important than me. Silly goat doesn't know, no one is more important than a cat. One day while hunting in the meadow, I catch a big fat field mouse. I'm just about to eat it when a thought occurs to me. Maybe My Girl would like a big fat mouse to eat. So I take it home holding my tail high and proud, strutting into my window of the house. I find my girl, and lay my offering at her feet. But My Girl doesn't react like I thought. She screams and gets upset. Funny enough it's the Dark Haired One who praises me. Picking up my offering and giving it back to me to eat. Ok, I think, maybe my girl prefers birds to mice. I'll try again. The next time I bring my girl a bird, still slightly alive, I lay it at her feet and it tries to get away. I pounce, stopping it and again my girl screams. I know the goat is laughing when the Dark Haired One throws me out of the house with the bird still flapping in my mouth. It was a delicious bird; I don't know why My Girl didn't want it. Later that night when I return home, I curl up at her feet and purr. Her toes are cold so I warm them. She reaches down to me and pats my head. "You're a good cat, Buttercup. I love you." She says. Now I know what my job is here. I am her warmer, her friend, her cat. I am Buttercup.

Days with My Girl and the Dark Haired One pass quietly but tension begins to build in our little house, I can sense it. My Girl is scared and the Dark haired Girl is meaner than usual. Even the mother in her quiet darkness is screaming inside. I don't understand what is happening so I take off into the woods. I have a mate out just beyond the buildings. She's a pretty little cat with fur the color of the forest floor and a snow-white ruff beneath her chin. I've tried to help my girls but whatever they fear, I'm afraid no cat can help. When I return home one afternoon, the Dark Haired Girl is not there. She does not come home that night, or the night after and My Girl cries herself to sleep every night. She holds me too tight but I know she needs to, so I let her. "I love you Buttercup," she says through the tears. "Don't ever leave me." Don't you worry My Girl; I'll be here. The next weeks are confusing to say the least. The Dark Haired Girl isn't here but I hear her voice coming from boxes. I yell for her to come out. My Girl needs her. I yowl at the top of my lungs until I realize it's hurting My Girl. "Buttercup shut up! I can't hear Katniss." Katniss, yes, that's the Dark Haired One. She's caught in the box, no wonder My Girl is crying.

A few sunsets later and there is great joy. My Girl and the mother are jumping up and down. There is still fear in the air but, overpowering it is joy. "She's coming home, Buttercup!" My girl tells me and she does. We leave our little house and go to a bigger one. My Girl worries it will confuse me to have a new home. Silly girl doesn't know she's my home, wherever she is, I am. The move to the new house brings new people, a boy with golden hair like My Girl and a grumpy man who smells like sour mash. The boy treats me with food under the table and the man yells at me to go away but then scratches my ears if I get close. He reminds me of the dark girl.

A full set of seasons goes by when the Dark Girl is gone again. She takes the boy and the man with her. My Girl and the mother cry again. Why does she keep leaving? I think. Doesn't she know they cry? Cats hate crying, ok maybe not all cats but I do. The girl and the boy's voices come from the box and I hate it. My Girl and the mother are scared. I feel the call of the wild one night and leave to visit my mate. I'll be back before My Girl goes to bed, I promise. I have crossed the houses and find her by the metal buildings when the loud noises start. The ground shakes and my mate and I take off running. Fire finds us and singes our fur but we keep running for the trees. We keep running until the smell of smoke no longer stings our noses. We are hurt but we will heal. I think about My Girl. I must get back to My Girl. After many sunsets I feel strong enough to return home. My mate stays in the sunny glade we found. There are plenty of mice and a stream with water. She will have my kittens soon. I leave. It's what tomcats do. I must find My Girl. It's what I do. My instincts call me back to the big house. The goat is gone. The house is empty. I try to find the little house but the warm ground scares me away. There are no houses to see. Just ashes. I return to the big house to wait. My window is open; My Girl was waiting for me to return that night. She must be worried about me. I wait and I wait. Leaving only to find food, I wait and I think. I think about my mate, I hope she found a warm, dry spot to keep our kittens and I hope they all grow strong. I'll never know them. Tomcats rarely do.

There's a strange noise outside. I hear it approaching. I remember that sound just before the loud noises started that brought the fire. I run to hide. This time there are no noises. Only people. They walk around what's left of our town. Then as the breeze blows I catch a familiar scent. The Dark Haired Girl is nearby.. I must find her. I go to the house and she comes. I frighten her at first. She wants me to come with her but I need to wait for My Girl. "I'll take you to Prim" she says. Prim, Prim is My Girl, I think. I let her pick me up by the scruff of my neck. It's a humiliating thing for an adult cat to be carried like a kitten but she said My Girl would be waiting. So I go along. I hide in a bag around her shoulders and I'm quiet. Outside the bag are noises I do not know, voices I do not know and I am scared but I am quiet. My Girl is waiting. When the bag is opened the bright lights blind me. I hear a squeal of joy from My Girl. Our reunion is sweet. I brush against her face, trying to soak up as much of her scent as I can. I weave between her legs as she walks and butt my head against hers and I purr.

This place is strange. It is not a house but I have a window where I can go to roam. The woods have plenty of mice to hunt. The girls sneak me food from time to time but they need it more than I do. I am a hunter after all; I can find my own food. One day, while lying on My Girl's bed. Loud noises ring out through the room. Lights flash and I am scared. I want to flee but my window is closed. I find a small space and I climb in it just like my mother taught me all those seasons ago. My Girl shows up, but can't find me. I must be brave; I meow to let her know I am here. She pulls be out and holds me close and we run. Out of the room, down stairs, we run through the noise and lights. My Girl keeps me safe. There is a lot of yelling and we rush toward a closing door. As it closes the loud noises that cause the ground shake start. But there's no fire. My Girl holds me close and I am quiet.

We stay behind the doors for a long time. I cannot see the sunset so I don't know for how long. The people are scared; they all sit quietly. The Dark haired Girl produces something I've never seen before, a spot that moves and dances across the floor. I chase it and people laugh. Cats don't like to be laughed at, but My Girl is smiling so I chase it some more. The people cheer when I spring up. This spot is infuriating. Just when I think I've got it, it shows up on top of my paw then dances away across the wall. I do my best but I cannot catch it. The people, My Girl included, feel better. My job is done. I return to her lap to take a nap.

There is still fear in the air but we are all together, all except the boy. I don't know where he is. But the man comes from time to time. I watch the sunsets from my little window. The Dark Haired Girl has left again, this time saying goodbye to me. "Take care of Prim for me." She says. Silly Dark Haired Girl doesn't she know, that's what I do.

One day My Girl whispers in my ear. She says that she's going to join her sister. She wants to help people. "NO!" I yowl, "Don't go." "Be a good cat." She says. "I love you, Buttercup. When I come back we'll go home and we'll all be together." Silly girl, don't you know, you are my home. Don't go Girl. I am determined to keep her in my sights so she can't leave. But I fall asleep on her feet and when I wake she's gone. It's only me and the Mother in our weird little house. Darkness descends on the Mother. Something has happened. She doesn't tell me what it is but the darkness takes her away. She doesn't speak. One day, she just opens my window and walks out. After a good hunt, I return to our room but she doesn't. The room is empty. I wait but she doesn't return. I go to my window. I can't smell my girl. I can't find her. I go to the woods. I'll go back to the big house. She waits for me there. She leaves my window open. She'll find me there. I leave the strange place behind.

It is a long way, the scents on the breezes are weak but I know, I must go back there. I must be a brave tomcat. Many sunsets turn to a season. It's cold and I am hungry most of the time but I keep going, following the scent of the ashes of the town. Eventually I find the glade where I left my mate. There's no time to find her but I can smell her scent. She is still nearby. I find my meadow where I played with my mother and lounged in the sun. I am close now. I find the town. There are people, cleaning away the remains of the burnt houses. I find the big house. There is smoke coming from the chimney. I think how nice it will be curled up at the feet of My Girl, safe in our house. I hurry, so lost in the thought of My Girl and me that I don't realize that I don't smell her. I startle the Dark Haired Girl as she sits motionless staring into the fire in front of her. She yells and throws things at me. Tells me, "Prim is gone. She's not here. Go away!" Sorry, Dark Haired Girl, I can't do that. I'll wait. She'll come. She always comes. Many sunsets come and go and still the Dark Haired Girl sits staring. She's thin and cold so I sit on her lap to warm her. At first she doesn't acknowledge me but after a few sunsets her hand finds its way to my fur. She pets me and I purr. I sleep every night at her side. I hunt and bring her offerings, hoping she will eat. The Man and a good smelling woman, try to get her to eat but, she refuses their offerings as well. I'm starting to realize that maybe My Girl won't come back. It makes me sad but I have a job to do. I have to make the darkness go away for the Dark Haired One. One day the Boy returns and things get brighter. She gets up and grooms herself. She stands in the doorway and watches him. She takes his offerings and begins to eat. She gets stronger. One day she takes off into the woods. It worries me, so I follow. She's hunting. I always knew she was a hunter but I never saw her. Everyday I follow behind her, catching the mice she doesn't get and then I follow her home, tail high after a successful hunt. She's a good hunting partner. The Boy comes to the house more and more. They share whispers that sound like purrs. One night he joins us in the big bed. He's her mate! I realize. I sleep down the stairs on a cushion now.

Seasons come and go and our quiet life is good. The Boy and Dark Haired Girl miss My Girl too. Sometimes the darkness comes to them but we fight it off together. The town grows again and people come. In our house though, life goes on the same. The Boy goes to town every day but comes back. The Dark Haired Girl and I hunt then I sit on her lap for a pet and a purr. One day I notice that her lap is smaller and her scent is different. The Boy is happier than I've ever seen a person. My Dark Haired Girl is anxious but happy. Her belly grows and I start to worry. One day I am balancing on what's left of her lap and feel a nudge. I look up in disdain but it couldn't be her who nudged me. It happens again and I startle. The girl laughs and rubs her big belly. I sniff her belly closely and smell something new. A kitten! My Dark Haired Girl is having a Kitten! I rub my head against her, trying to soak up the new scent. I purr with happiness.

One day the Dark Haired Girl yowls louder than I've ever heard! There is much activity in the big house. People rush in and rush out. I fear for my Dark Haired Girl but my presence isn't needed. I go to the woods. I return a few sunsets later. The house is quiet. The Boy is sleeping at the kitchen table. I'll check on him later. I creep up to the room with the bed. My Dark Haired Girl lies on her side, looking down at a pink creature in her arms. I approach, as I would prey, slunk down and on quiet feet. She notices me and warns, "Be gentle, Buttercup." I stick my twitching nose out and sniff its head. It's the kitten! She's had the kitten! "This is Willow," The Dark Haired Girl says. Silly Girl doesn't she know, she's light, she's goodness, she's warmth, she's happiness. She' isn't Willow. She's sunshine, My Sunshine. I lick her sweet hair, yellow like the Boy's and like My Girl's, I remember. I curl up alongside My Sunshine and purr.

I have a new job; I am the guardian of My Sunshine. I watch over her and the Dark Haired Girl as she nurses. I sleep near her bed in case she needs me during the night. We stare at each other and tell each other our secrets. "Cup!" She calls me when she learns to talk. She grows big and starts to move. She likes to chase me. I am patient. Once with a giggle My Sunshine grabs my tail and pulls hard. I am startled and I yowl, loudly. My Sunshine's smiles turn to a frown and she cries big tears of fear. I scared My Sunshine, I feel terrible. I made her cry. I hate cries. The Dark Haired One shoos me away and I feel bad. I go to the woods. I come back with the next sun. My Sunshine is happy to see me. I lay down beside her on the blankets. My Sunshine reaches for me and gently grabs my fur. Two of her fingers scratch me and the others hold tight. It is nice. She falls asleep and I purr. All is forgiven.

The Man keeps creatures in a pen. They are bigger birds than I've ever seen. I keep my distance, my mother taught me well. They are bigger than I. My Sunshine doesn't know this rule. I watch as she toddles after the biggest one. It turns on her and chases her, snapping his beak on one of her little fingers. I must do my job. I chase the bird away and get a snap on my tail for my trouble. My Sunshine is safe in the arms of the Boy. The Boy and the Man praise me. "Good Cat," they say, "Protect your girl."

Seasons pass and My Sunshine grows. Another Kitten comes to live with us. This one is a boy. He's OK, but I have My Sunshine. Sunshine leaves the house everyday and I'm not allowed to follow. I did one day, she went to a big building with other people kittens. I couldn't go in, so I sat in a tree outside the window and yowled to let her know I was there. The Dark Haired One closes my window now so I can't follow. Instead I wait in a sunbeam near the window. My Sunshine comes home everyday and kisses my head. "I love you, Buddercup!" She says. I am loved.

I am an old cat now. So many seasons have passed that I've lost count. My Sunshine is almost as tall as the Dark Haired Girl. She laughs and she plays. My old bones cannot keep up with her anymore but she still needs me to sleep with her every night. I watch her and I am happy.

I am laying on My Sunshine's lap in a sunbeam coming through the window. I am purring. My girl is sad but I don't know why. I am thinking about my life, about my mother, my mate, My Girl. I've had a good long life. It was full of joy and sadness, darkness and light, danger and warmth. I think of the lessons my mother taught me that brought me here to this lap and this bit of sunshine. I think about what she said, that a tomcat must be alone. I realize that maybe it's time I go ahead, on my own. I need to be a brave tomcat. I have to leave my people behind. I am warm, I am dry and if I sleep, the pain goes away.

"I love you, Buttercup." My Sunshine says into my ear. "You've been a good cat." I think those are good words. Good words to take with me.

I am Buttercup, I am a survivor, I am a hunter, I am a friend, and I am a guardian. I am loved. And with that thought, I sleep.

 _ **A/N** _ _Thanks for reading my first published fanfic. Thanks to the folks loveinpanem for your New Authors Month and for pairing me with katnissdoesnotfollowback as a mentor. As if she doesn't have enough to do, she's taken on helping me through my first multi-chapter work, Playthings - COMING SOON! Thank you._

 _Hope you liked this little look into the story behind my namesake. He survived two bombings and a war and he did it all without thumbs. In my opinion that is badass._


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